i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
