I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
