I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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