awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
why do cheetos always look like penises
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
