at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize