We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Help. Why am I so naked?
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