quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
