All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize