There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
