Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
