Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
