Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
