She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
