my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
