I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
