i already hear my dad disowning me
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
two words...techno handjob
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
