i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
