she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
