I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How does one acquire holy water?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
