Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
