Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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