then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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