I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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