Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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