That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
