I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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