I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
