I'm going to jail i love you
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
