i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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