I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
