Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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