i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize