I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
whose ass print is on the piano?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
