So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Randomize
