and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
