My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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