You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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