spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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