I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize