So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
