tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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