Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
