yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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