does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
