Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
