i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
