yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
