GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize