Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dick very happy bro
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
