that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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