I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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