She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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