i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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