just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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