Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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