He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
