did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
