At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
