Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
