No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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