Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
