We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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