Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Randomize
