This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
birth control should be required to get into college
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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