what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
BRING THE BAGELS
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
