Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
