I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
